| I am sorry. Sorry to my parents, to my sister and brother- who does not even know the reason I broke down in tears that day, to my friends, to everyone who respected me, and most of all to myself. Words will never begin to express the sadness and remorse inside of me. It condemns me to an enclosure of regret and frustration. No amount of drugs, alcohol or comfort will ever take this away and that is why my only resort is to cover it, to patch it up, to put things behind me, to carry on. I've paid my fine, haven't I? I saved myself. I resisted tempation to escape the easy way- I did not take my life. It was a strong temptation. Coming from where I come from, you'd see why I felt there was nothing left to live for. I could not forgive myself, I just wanted to die.beverly hills ca hotel |
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| Maybe I've taken things too lightly since then. Maybe I've put it behind me and forgotten it too much. Maybe I have not proven that I really am sorry. And as much as it hurts me that she no longer looks up to me as a guide, as much as it hurts that she left me that day, I'll go on. I'll keep going because life is a circle of time and it stops for nobody. |
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| She left me. She even said it in her journal. Needless to say, I knew that. I feel it every day. In her words, I am no longer her guide. A 'seperation' she calls it. But the show must go on. It is not the end of the world. So why do I feel so worthless. Does she look down to me now? Have I lost my value because I made a mistake? This life is unfair. I know I made a mistake, and it was a big one. It was the result of a violent night of rage and I decided to rebel. I also wanted to know the big deal everyone was talking about. And I found out. It just fucked up. west los angeles hotel |
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